My lack of computer skills and Bon Jovi's Ass
Let me start by saying I truly apologize for the ugly way my piece posted yesterday. I don't know what the fuck happened, but I know part of the problem is me. You see, I am one computer illiterate mother fucker. I can't even get my playstation to work half the fucking time.
It really bothers me that I have been left in the emergency lane of the internet highway. Somebody please call me a tow truck. Again, I apologize. Now, to my next subject. Before I begin, let me tell ya'll a couple of things. First off, I am not gay. I have NEVER looked at a man, and thought "wow, I gotta get me some of that ass". I've never masturbated to pictures of Mel Gibson growing up, even though I will admit, I have gotten some pretty good stiffies looking at pics of that Beretta M-92 he used in the Lethal Weapon movies. Since this is a totally honest BLOG, I have to tell ya'll a little secret. I often go to eat over at the House of Pies restuarant on Westheimer. My favorite waiter there is a fella named Roland. He is a great guy, and he is a good friend. Sometimes, when I must look very tired to him, he comes over and rubs my shoulders, and man it feels good. Does that make me gay, admitting it feels good when another guy rubs my shoulders ? HEY, I didn't say it gave me a hard on !! Ya'll would like it too, gay or not. Roland
should quit his day job, and become a professional, he is that good. Now to Bon Jovi's ass. I went to the Bon Jovi concert last night, along with twenty five thousand other refugees from the 80's-90's. Talk about "BIG" hair. There were so many chicks there, sporting the 80's "BIG" hair, it made me feel like a teenager again. Regretfully, I must inform ya'll, there was something else there, and it chilled me to the bone. Something that I have no fucking idea how it got started, but for the love of god, what the fuck was someone thinking when they let "the beast" lose on the the world of hair ? Yes boys and girls, you know what I am talking about. Thats right, the "MULLET". I want everyone who reads this, to pass a little messege along to ANYONE they know, still wearing this most hidious of hair styles. Get a fucking hair cut. You look really retarded, and your friends make fun of you behind your back all of the time. If you think you
look cool, you don't. You look like an idiot. Whew, I got so fired up on the "MULLET", I lost track of Bon Jovi's ass. So I am at the show, and I had really good seats. I was close enough to the band to lob one of my plastic 12oz Miller light beer bottles at them, and nail 'em pretty fucking hard too may I add, but I didn't. Seated behind me, are these two really fine looking teenage girls, and they are going absolute ape shit over John Bon Jovi. They were jumping up
and down on the red, standard issue folding chairs, one usually finds in the floor section of arenas through out the country. Their skins tight shirts, were BARELY holding in the gift of firm, large, chesticles that god gave them....wait I'm losing track again, sorry. One of the girls yells to the other girl "I don't give a fuck how old he is, I would fuck his brains out, he is so fucking hot, look at that ass". Why I looked also, I will never know, but I did. There it was in all of its glory. John Bon Jovi's ass was so close to me, I could have given him a pinch, right on one of those tight little butt cheeks he is still sporting. I found myself thinking, "wow, that guys is in his forties, and he has a great ass". This made me ponder, about my ass. What went wrong ? Girls in school used
to tell me I had a nice ass. Man, I sure have not heard that in sooooo long. I made a decision, right on the floor of the arena. I was going to work on my ass. I wanted to have a tight ass again. I wanted an ass like Bon Jovi's. As the band played on through their long set, I couldn't stop thinking about my flabby ass. When did I let my ass go ? I never made a concious decesion to do it. My flabby ass kinda snuck up on me, kinda like a ninja or a sucker punch. I never saw it coming. As I grew more depressed over my flabby ass, Bon Jovi kept waiving his in my face, taunting me, as if he knew what I was thinking. If anyone ever asks him, he'll deny it, but he knew what he was doing. I think he even winked at me one time, as he looked over his right shoulder, and then down at his ass. The show finally ended, and my I was on fire. I was gonna fix my broken ass. I was gonna get a mebership to a fitness club, get a trainer, boy was I making plans. Sadly, those plans were born, and died on the floor of that arean. As I was getting ready to leave, I looked at the very large set of steep stairs that loomed before me. After what felt like four thousand stairs later, I relized why I had lost my ass. I lost my ass because unlike John "peter fucking pan" Bon Jovi, I am getting older by the minute. Not only did I leave my mullet back in the 80's, but I left my ass there too. After walking up those stairs, I made another decision : just like my mullet, my ass would have to be relagated to the 80's, never to return. Hopefully the "MULLET" will do the same thing.
The moral of this story is this. Accept yourself for what you have become. We often look back on the past, as if it was so fucking great, and always yern to go back. I have relized something as I have grown older, the "MULLET" sucked, and I never had a great ass, at its best, it was average.
be safe,
ferg
It really bothers me that I have been left in the emergency lane of the internet highway. Somebody please call me a tow truck. Again, I apologize. Now, to my next subject. Before I begin, let me tell ya'll a couple of things. First off, I am not gay. I have NEVER looked at a man, and thought "wow, I gotta get me some of that ass". I've never masturbated to pictures of Mel Gibson growing up, even though I will admit, I have gotten some pretty good stiffies looking at pics of that Beretta M-92 he used in the Lethal Weapon movies. Since this is a totally honest BLOG, I have to tell ya'll a little secret. I often go to eat over at the House of Pies restuarant on Westheimer. My favorite waiter there is a fella named Roland. He is a great guy, and he is a good friend. Sometimes, when I must look very tired to him, he comes over and rubs my shoulders, and man it feels good. Does that make me gay, admitting it feels good when another guy rubs my shoulders ? HEY, I didn't say it gave me a hard on !! Ya'll would like it too, gay or not. Roland
should quit his day job, and become a professional, he is that good. Now to Bon Jovi's ass. I went to the Bon Jovi concert last night, along with twenty five thousand other refugees from the 80's-90's. Talk about "BIG" hair. There were so many chicks there, sporting the 80's "BIG" hair, it made me feel like a teenager again. Regretfully, I must inform ya'll, there was something else there, and it chilled me to the bone. Something that I have no fucking idea how it got started, but for the love of god, what the fuck was someone thinking when they let "the beast" lose on the the world of hair ? Yes boys and girls, you know what I am talking about. Thats right, the "MULLET". I want everyone who reads this, to pass a little messege along to ANYONE they know, still wearing this most hidious of hair styles. Get a fucking hair cut. You look really retarded, and your friends make fun of you behind your back all of the time. If you think you
look cool, you don't. You look like an idiot. Whew, I got so fired up on the "MULLET", I lost track of Bon Jovi's ass. So I am at the show, and I had really good seats. I was close enough to the band to lob one of my plastic 12oz Miller light beer bottles at them, and nail 'em pretty fucking hard too may I add, but I didn't. Seated behind me, are these two really fine looking teenage girls, and they are going absolute ape shit over John Bon Jovi. They were jumping up
and down on the red, standard issue folding chairs, one usually finds in the floor section of arenas through out the country. Their skins tight shirts, were BARELY holding in the gift of firm, large, chesticles that god gave them....wait I'm losing track again, sorry. One of the girls yells to the other girl "I don't give a fuck how old he is, I would fuck his brains out, he is so fucking hot, look at that ass". Why I looked also, I will never know, but I did. There it was in all of its glory. John Bon Jovi's ass was so close to me, I could have given him a pinch, right on one of those tight little butt cheeks he is still sporting. I found myself thinking, "wow, that guys is in his forties, and he has a great ass". This made me ponder, about my ass. What went wrong ? Girls in school used
to tell me I had a nice ass. Man, I sure have not heard that in sooooo long. I made a decision, right on the floor of the arena. I was going to work on my ass. I wanted to have a tight ass again. I wanted an ass like Bon Jovi's. As the band played on through their long set, I couldn't stop thinking about my flabby ass. When did I let my ass go ? I never made a concious decesion to do it. My flabby ass kinda snuck up on me, kinda like a ninja or a sucker punch. I never saw it coming. As I grew more depressed over my flabby ass, Bon Jovi kept waiving his in my face, taunting me, as if he knew what I was thinking. If anyone ever asks him, he'll deny it, but he knew what he was doing. I think he even winked at me one time, as he looked over his right shoulder, and then down at his ass. The show finally ended, and my I was on fire. I was gonna fix my broken ass. I was gonna get a mebership to a fitness club, get a trainer, boy was I making plans. Sadly, those plans were born, and died on the floor of that arean. As I was getting ready to leave, I looked at the very large set of steep stairs that loomed before me. After what felt like four thousand stairs later, I relized why I had lost my ass. I lost my ass because unlike John "peter fucking pan" Bon Jovi, I am getting older by the minute. Not only did I leave my mullet back in the 80's, but I left my ass there too. After walking up those stairs, I made another decision : just like my mullet, my ass would have to be relagated to the 80's, never to return. Hopefully the "MULLET" will do the same thing.
The moral of this story is this. Accept yourself for what you have become. We often look back on the past, as if it was so fucking great, and always yern to go back. I have relized something as I have grown older, the "MULLET" sucked, and I never had a great ass, at its best, it was average.
be safe,
ferg
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