FW: Does everyone cheat ?

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  Hello to all of my friends, and how is everyone today ?  I hope your all doing fucking great:) As for me, I'm kinda pissed off and fucking grumpy. I was thinking to myself today, do I know anyone that doesnt' cheat on their mate...? Hmmmmm, it took me about a fucking hour, but I could rattle off a few people. Overall, however, almost everyone I know, is getting sex from someone OTHER then the person they are with. I wonder why that is? Let's all take a look at this issue.
 
  You two meet, and fall in love. Isn't love just grand? Oh, it's so wonderful, just like a spring time rose. Your happy, and giddy. You just can't be away from the "love of your life". The sun just wouldn't rise in the morning, if "they" were not in your life. You two make plans together, and forever is right around the ole' corner now !!
 
  Not so fast there smarty pants. Let me be the fucking sour apple in the apple bucket of love. Let me be the winter for your "spring time rose". Odds are, unless you are with a one of the few rare people in the world, your mate is gonna fuck someone, I promise you that. "No way, my baby wouldn't have sex with another man" a buddy of mine recently said. "She loves me...blah blah blah". Yea right, whatever you say. I didn't have the heart to tell him his wife flat out, balls to the wall, hit on me the day before he said that. Not that I would ever fuck a friend over by fucking his wife, but boy she is a hotty for real, and his is an idiot for not seeing how she really is.
 
  A good buddy of mine just had a baby, and the kid is adorable. I sooo fucking love babies !! They are the greatest gift the world can give anyone. Anyway, so he has this baby, fresh out of the easy bake oven. His girl friend is a sweet heart too. She is a totally beautiful girl. She has a personality to match her pretty face. So why the fuck would he want to cheat on her ?  A married chick we both know, was telling me how he has been trying to hook up with her, but she won't do it....with him!! She has readily admitted she has cheated on her husband before, and that she will again. Hey, at least she is honest, right ? Do you think her husband cheats too?
 
  So why do people cheat ? I was talking to this lady, that I never met before in my life. She came by my job, to give a surprise visit to a buddy of mine she has been sleeping with. In case you have not guessed it, he is married too. So myself, and another married buddy I work with, start talking to her. She tells us that she cheats because her husband does not give her the attention she wants and needs. She said that she loves her husband and their children, but the "passion" is gone from relationship. She also told us that her husband just will not "kiss the kitty". Her relationship has gotten so bad with her husband, she told us her 13 daughter even tells her to leave him !!
 
  So now my buddy chimes in. He tells us after the birth of his kids, his wife became as frozen as the ice berg that sunk the fucking Titanic. He tells us about all of the moves he puts on the ice box he calls a wife, and she just won't budge. The pussy is locked up tighter than the receipe for the Coca Cola formula. Well, long story short, she leaves her cell phone number for our other buddy, the one she came to see.
 
  The next day, the "other" buddy tells me the friend I was with called this chick, and boy is he pissed off. I'm thinking to myself, let me get this straight: my one married buddy, is mad at our other married buddy, for calling the married chick he is screwing. Is that fucking insane, or am I the only one who thinks this ? You see how fucking complicated things can get when you cheat ?
 
  While through out the course of history, there have always been cheaters, I think today it's at epic level proportions. I really believe a part of it, is that people cheat more, because they see less of each other. Everyone now days has to work two and three jobs, just to pay for fucking gasoline !! I also think the problem is  MTV, and all of the shitty music out there on the radio too. A lot of the images we see and the music we hear today, talks about "fucking bitches, Pimpin', being a whoe, slappin dat booty", and all kinds of other shit like that. Whether you relize it or not, these stupid things really do shape the way society thinks. Slowly but surely, the concept of the quick fuck, and fucking around has really become not only socially acceptable, but actually the in thing to do. And hell, you know the government is behind this sexual propoganda, cause the more people are out fucking, the less they are thinking about how they are getting fucked in the ass with no vasoline by the government, day in and day out. 
 
  My favorite group of cheaters, are the bible thumpers. Shit, even when I was growing up, I knew that if I met a catholic girl, I wasn't gonna fuck her, but she was gonna FUCK ME :) I don't even go to church, and I can tell you of about 50 preachers and pastors I have heard about from friends that do go to church, having to leave the congragation, cause they got caught fucking around. I guess these jack offs figure if they ask god for forgiveness after they are done fucking, god will be ok with it.
 
  The irony of all this infidelity going on, is that the one's who are out there fucking around, would be DESTROYED if they found out they were getting played too. A pal of mine litterally cheats all of the time. This fucker cheats so much, he even has his own apartment !! Now when I say his own apartment, get a load of this. This fucker is married with kids. He he has a big house, and a devoted wife. Of course he works a lot, so there's  his excuse for not being home much. He gets sooo much ass on the side, he went out and got an apartment, that his wife obviously has no idea about. Not only that, he has been seeing this other girl that doesn't know he is married, and she wants to get an apartment with him. Now, here is the kicker, he is actually thinking about moving in with her too!!! Is he fucking insane ? The worst part is, I was giving him shit one day telling him, his wife doesn't care if he comes home all the time or not, cause she is probably getting ass on the side too. He looked at me like I just asked him if I could ass fuck his mom, while another guy jerked off in her face. He was pissed. In a very honest and sincere voice, he says to me "I'd fucking kill her if she were cheating on me". Hellllooooo, reality check in isle 6 please.
 
  I guess the morale of the story is this. If your out there fucking around, there's a good chance your mate is gonna too. Contrary to what all of these "playa's" think, people know when they are getting cheated on. It may not be something the other side can put their finger on, but trust me, they always know. You gotta ask yourself a couple of questions before you go out and get some strange. Do you think if you devoted as much time into the relationship your in, as opposed to getting some ass on the side, your relationship might actually be pleasent enough, to where you won't NEED to go get some strange ass ?
 
  Are you willing to risk losing everything you have at home, for the chance to get a piece of ass, that has probably been had by more guys than Madonna or Paris Hilton? And let's not forget the subject of sexually transmitted dieseases. Do you really want to bring some exploding pussy illness home to the mother of your children ? For the cheaters out there, remeber this. If you just can't help but fuck like a rabbit, that's fine. At least have the balls to tell your mate you are done, or work on having some type of open relationship with your partner. An example of this is going to swingers clubs. What's good for the goose is always good for the gander, isn't that how the saying goes ? Stop being a pussy about it, and be proud of your labeto. The whole concept of "adventure with security" is great, when you are the one out there fucking. Myself, having been on the other end of that type of relationship can tell you first hand, it sucks. it hurts, and it's just not fucking cool.
 
  It's your ass, now go figure out how your gonna give it up.
 
  Be safe,
  Ferg
   
 
  
 
  
 
 

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FW:

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Hello my friends. I'm gonna touch on a subject today, that really pisses me off. While I know we have covered a lot of crap on this site, here's something we have not. Ya see, my good buddy Kevin's web sights got hacked into, and all of the hard work he has put into his assorted web sites was deleted. That's right kids, deleted. Some really bored mother fucker, with nothing better to do with his or her time, went into his web servers computer, and knocked the shit out of everything he had. Before I really go off on these ass fuckers, lets back up the truck a pinch.

When PC's first came out, they kinda sucked. Actually, they really sucked big time. My dad had one of the first Apple's that came out, and even as a kid I was like "this shit really sucks". My dad, being the man that he was, hated that Apple worse than I did, but his buddy had a hard on for it like Johnny fucking Holmes. He would sit in front of that piece of shit for HOURS. To this day, I still have no idea what he was doing, but anyway. So my dad gave him the computer. Until the day my pop passed on, he never touched another PC again. I guess that fucking Apple was like the "hot stove" of the computer world for my dad.

So back to the story. The point I'm getting at here is this. Computers were simple. You could play pong, do some nifty little shit to impress your friends, like make a dancing stick figure, and shit like that. But, they were simple. As computers got more advanced, a weird thing happened. The term computer "virus" came into being. When I first heard the term, I was fucking amazed. Wow, computers can get viruses like people. That's some crazy shit. I didn't know for a good couple of years, these viruses were MAN MADE. And that is no lie. Me, in my simple little, Atari 2600 playing world, really thought these "viruses" were made by some other magical and mysterious means. Hey, I never said I was fucking smart, and I know about half of my readers are thinking "that dude is a dumb fuck".

So, I thought to myself, there are really people that "make" these viruses? Hmmmm, that's really weird. Why would someone do that ? Well, lets see. There are a LOT of people making money off of ANTI-VIRUS programs for computers, could it be a big corporate scam ? Well DUH, of course the first computers viruses were, and if anyone tells ya different, tell him that you also believe the fucking moon is made of Swiss cheese. The problem with the advent of the "virus", was it set off a god damn ticking time bomb in some fucking nerd's head !!!!!

Somewhere out there, some fucking nerd was sitting on his fucking lonely bed, in his lonely house, in his fucking dork ass lonely world, and thought, "hmmmm, that's pretty cool, but watch this shit world". So fucking Nerd man, lord of the one man circle jerk, figures he's gonna make the world pay, like a non funny Dr. Evil. "Bridgett said she would rather take her retarded brother Phil to the prom then me" , "That hooker said she wouldn't fuck me, even though I offered her two thousand dollars, cause she said my ball's smelled like her dad's ass", "Revenge of the nerds was obviously a fantasy movie, cause those nerds got laid". Yup, this fucker was BITTER.

He may not have gotten attention before, but now, in a passive agresive way, the world was gonna pay, one way or the other. So Nerd man makes a computer virus, FOR FREE, FOR FUN!! And just like a real virus, the concept of hacking into computers and viruses spread, from one nerd, to another nerd, to another nerd. Which brings us to the here and now.

Poor Kev's shit got hacked, virused, and deleted. Why may you ask, would someone do this ? Why would someone spend countless hours, creating things, and doing things to fuck other people's shit up ? To tell you the truth, I have no fucking idea. What I can tell you is this. These people must be some BORED mother fuckers. Granted, they are obviously smart mother fuckers, cause it takes a lot of talent, and brains to do shit like that, but....To any computer people that get off on doing shit like this, I want you to know, your all fucking ignorant. Take a deep breath, and step away from the computer. Go outside and play catch with your dog. Watch a movie....in a theater, not off of your PC. Go buy a porno DVD, and jerk off. I do that one all the time and it's fun :)

While you make think that your really smart and cool, all your really doing is showing the rest of the world that you are lonely, and have low self esteem. You obviously feel insignificant, and the only time you feel like you are in control of ANYTHING, is when your fucking up other people's shit. Unlike real vandals, who do their shit up close and personal, you hide behind your computer monitor, inflicting damage usually, from thousands of miles away. What kind of pussy ass shit is that ? You fucking cowards. If you wanna break someone's shit, at least have the balls to do it with your own two hands. Not with your carpel tunnel filled fingers. If any of you need someone to talk to, write to me. I will gladly be your pen pal, and try to develope your social skills. Volunteer your time, to using your skills to do some good !! Go set up computer programs at nursing homes for the residents, so maybe someone's grandma can e-mail her fucking grand kids, which might just make her whole fucking month, never mind her day !!

To all of you computer nerds who do evil things with your skills, the moral of the story is this. You have a great talent, that can do a lot of good for lots of people. Use your talents for good things, not bad ones. Most computer owners are just like you, working hard to make ends meet, and when you fuck up our computers, you cost us regular dumb folks A LOT of money to fix our shit. Look at fucking Bill Gates. He was one of you, a computer nerd that is. He used his powers for good, and look at that RICH fuck. I envy all of you nerdy computer bastards, cause I wish I had the smarts ya'll have, and that's no frigging joke. Now stop being a bunch of assholes, and go do something good. And by all means, get out a little, life is passing you by. Go intermingle with people. Get away from the computer. You might have a whole new out look on things.

Be safe,

Ferg

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When to say enough

  Hello my friends, how are we today ? I noticed a few typos in my "space sex" piece, and I will fix 'em, I promise. Now that I got the ole' apology out of the way. Let's get to todays lesson shall we ?

 

  While writing back and forth with a friend of mine from Deleware, it came up in the course of the typed conversation, about knowing when to say "enough". There are many circumstances when the word "enough" should be used, and we will try to cover some of them right now:)

 

  The most obvious time of course, is when we are DRINKING. For some unknown reason, many of us just don' t know when to use the words, "enough", "no more", "I'm done". Instead the only time we stop are when these words come up, "I'm gonna throw up", "please make the room stop spinning", "where am I", and "of course I would love to fuck you, whats your name again"?

 

  I think a big problem with drinking, is that it's a social event. We meet up with our frineds, and we all go out to have a good time. So now everyone's at the bar, throwing a few back, and then a few more. Now everyone's pretty toasted, and feeling good, and this is where it should stop....but nooooooooo. What happens next you ask ? Ya'll know the answer, your just not thinking hard enough.

 

  Some asshole in the group say's "another round for everyone"! The one brave soul in the group say's "no, I'm good". I don't know why this happens, but saying anything close to these words is like shitting in the bowl of holly water at church. All of the other people in the group look at this person like they said "I just fucked your mom, and I have full blown Herpes AND aids".

 

  I don't know at what point in time, it became so uncool to STOP drinking at a ceratin point. It's not a fucking competion. There is NOTHING cool about throwing your fucking gut's up, and being hung over for the next two day's. If you feel like you have hit your drinking limit, say the magic word "enough". Be a mold breaker, and just say it. Fuck anyone that tells you different. Remind the asshole that call's you a "wussy" , we are NOT in high school anymore, and that if you do throw up, your gonna make sure it's right in their fucking stupid face:)

 

  Another circumstance when we should use the word "enough", is when we are eating. Why is it so hard to say "enough" when it comes to eating? Is it lack of sex? Are we trying to make up for something missing in our lives with food? As far as lack of sex goes, it's kinda a vicious cycle. The less sex we get, the more we eat, and the more we eat, the less sex we get. This is because we keep getting fatter and fatter. The fatter we get, the less appealing we are to the opposite sex, and the next thing you know, your jerking off with your right hand, while holding a twinkie in your left.

 

  This could really be a dangerous situation too, because lord know's no one wants to eat their own "creamy filling". "Hmmmm, this creamy filling is kinda tart today, and a little salty too". The next thing you know, your firing off a letter to the folks at Hostess cakes, bitching about the salty cream filling. Obviously, the guy that wrote you the response letter is a tubby fuck too, because HE KNOWS what happened: Dear sir, it is highly recommended that you do not masterbate your penis, while eating a twinkie...your's truly, Hostess cakes. Holly shit, how did that fucking guy know ?

 

  The biggest situation, in which we need to say "enough", is in the relationship department. At what point in a relationship do we need to say enough ?  When there is more pain in the relationship then pleasure. When you spend more time apart from each other fighting, then you do together having fun. When you know in your heart your mate is out meeting new people, and just keeping you around as a saftey net.

 

  Why is it soooo hard to bail out of a failing relationship ? The answer is simple. No one likes to get rejected by someone they love. For some reason, it's human nature to believe that if we give up, that is when the other person will cave in, and hook up with someone else. When in reality, they have been getting busier then a horney beaver for months. While deep down inside we know this, we pretend that we don't. We make believe that if we stick it out just a bit longer, maybe the other person will see the light, and relize you are the true love of their life.

 

  When do you know when to stay in a troubled relationship ? I can't phrase it any better than my friend from Delaware when she said "when the other person is fighting as hard to save the relationship as you are". Wow Dana, truier words have never been spoken.

 

  The moral of the story is this: Anything in moderation is cool, and when things are going good, go with the flow and have fun. Don't let the "fun", however, cloud your judgement. Relize when the fun is over, and futher indulgence in food, wine, or relaionships may be harmeful to your health, be it emotional or physical.

 

  Now go get drunk, and go have sex with your cheating mate. Then stumble into your local IHOP, and eat like a fuckjng pig ....just kidding :)

 

  be safe,

  ferg