Dana's update

  Oh my dear sweet Dana. Let me start by saying you do not sound pathetic at all. There is not a single person over the age of 10, that can honestly say they have not felt the kind of pain you are feeling. We all have hurt like you are now, so stop with that "pathetic" stuff right now young lady. Now that I am armed with more info, from the last two e-mails you sent, we are gonna dig deeper into what your going through.

 

  The one thing you told me was he cheated on you, and that's why you broke up. That's a big problem right there, but here is how it gets multiplied by a million. Once he cheated on you, and you two split up, I'am sure you were devastated. The pattern for the rest of the relationship was set, however, when you kept telling him how much you cared. I'am sure you also told him you wanted him back. That was a big mistake, because by doing this, you gave him the green light to treat you like shit.

 

  So now we got ole cock boy, thinking his shit does not stink one bit. He has this girl (you) madly in love with him, even though he cheated like a fucking dog. Just like the first push on a domino, once the first one falls, its hard to stop them. Its pretty obvious from what you have told me, you have never drawn a line in the sand, and said "if you cross this line, fuck off and die you piece of shit". He keeps pushing you, because you allow him to.

 

  This is were the distant but friendly part comes into play. If he didn't need you in his life, he would have stopped talking to you a long time ago. The thing is however, he does. You make him feel good about himself, and you do it for FREE!!! You make no demands on him whatsoever. All he has to do, is sit back, and enjoy the ego trip you give him. He is used to the attention after all this time. Believe me, when you cut it off, which hopefully you will, he will notice it.

 

  You wrote in you follow up e-mail, you have been trying the "distant" approach, but it has not been working. Well remember what I told you. It is gonna take a least a week to really sink into ol'e boys head, that you are pulling away.  Plus, I get the feeling your only making a half hearted effort. I know your not a game player, but its pretty clear you have had no luck in the past.

 

  Look at this like a game of poker. A good poker player NEVER shows his/her own hand. They never let the other players see what's going on inside of their heads. They always keep their "poker face" up, whether they have four aces, or a shitty hand. You must do the same thing. At this point, you have nothing to lose, and your sanity to gain.

 

  Keep trying the ol'e "distant" method. Trust me sweetie, you'll get his attention. In the mean time, you need to focus on other things like your friends, other guys...etc  You need to free up your mind, and stop wasting all of your emotional energy on him, and put it to better use. Use it on YOU :)

 

 

FW: Dana seeks some advice

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  Hello to all my friends. I'am sorry I have been away for so long. So much shit has been going on in my dumb ass life, I can hardly believe it. The shit has been mostly bad too. That is not what we are here to discuss today. Our good friend Dana is seeking some advice. Dana my love, I am gonna give it to you straight. We will fix this problem. Lets see what Dana had to say.

 

  "I have been in love with this guy for two years. We were friends, dated and broke up. We managed to stay friends, but it has never been the same. I miss him and I want to be with him again. Sometimes I feel like he might want the same thing. But then he won't return my phone calls and then when he does he is distant and kind of cold. I know he is dating a few girls, but he never admits to it when we talk. I feel like he hides things from me. Why wouldn't he just tell me the truth? It is not like we are dating. He knows how I feel about him, but he never tells me how he feels. Is he just using me and wants to keep me hanging on? Or is there something I am missing? You seem to know guys pretty well, so I would appreciate any help you could give".

 

  Oh my dear Dana. Let me start by saying you sound like a real sweet heart. You seem like a great girl, and I'am sorry you have been caught up in a bad deal, and that's what you have here. Let me explain what has been going on. The one thing I wish you would have told me, is why did you two break up ? It's ok though, I think I got this one pegged anyway.

 

  From everything you have told me in your letter, it sounds to me like this guy is a piece of shit. It's pretty obvious, you have been very honest with him. You have told him how much you care about him, and all you have gotten is dumped on like a chump. Believe me sweetie, I don't think for one second you are anything but wonderful. I don't even know your ex-boyfriend and I don't like him already.

 

  The problem you are dealing with, all revolves around the fact your ex doesn't want you right now, but he does not want anyone to have you neither. Believe me, he knows how you feel, and it makes him feel really good. You have become the emotional safety net, in his tight rope of life. The irony is, he needs you more than you need him, you just don't know it. Be advised though, this guy is a selfish son of a bitch, and he is the LAST thing you need in your life. Let me explain.

 

  You both dated and broke up. The reason is not that important, as to why you two split up. The bottom line is, the both of you maintained a relationship after the break up. Even though you said you guys stayed friends, you obviously made it very clear to him, you still loved him, and wanted to be with him. He responded by giving you some crumbs right ? The ole dreaded "string along". I bet every time he gave you a crumb, one of two things happened.

 

  The first one is this. He probably had a very bad dating experience or someone he was dating blew him off. He likes some chick, and she gives him the ole heave ho like you should. Damn, he is hurting right ? Little Suzie Bitchass just hurt your true loves feelings, and he is hurting. Well, if you were him, were would you go to help heal your battered and bruised ego ?

 

  Hmmmm, let me see. If I were him, I would go to the one person in the whole world that I know loves me. A person that thinks I'am a great guy, even though Suzie thinks I'am a dick bag. A person who strokes my ego with her unconditional love. That would be you Dana. I'am positive you make this guy feel like gold. Lots of compliments, praise, and love. You have put your ex on a pedestal, and he loves it. It makes him feel good.

 

  The second thing is this. I bet there are plenty of times you get sick of this shit. Somewhere in your head, the smart part of you is screaming to the heart part of you "fuck this guy, he is an asshole". Occasionally, this part of you actually gets a chance to show itself, and when it does, he notices it. You may not, but he really does, trust me on this one.

 

  So now your ready to tell you ex to fuck off, and he feels the heat. He can't lose you, because he needs you. Remember, you make him feel great. He knows that no matter what, you will always be there. Because you make him feel great, and he does need you, anytime he feels like you may move on with your life, he gets nervous. He starts to give you attention, because  he has to reel you back in.

 

  He doesn't give you to much attention, because he doesn't want to start a new relationship with you. He wants to keep things the way they are, because he has it fucking GREAT!! He can  go out and fuck around, and not have to worry about being held accountable to you. He can get all the love he needs from you, when he needs it. When he doesn't need it, he can just put it back up and the shelf, until he needs you again.

 

  The way he is, is all your fault, because you have allowed it. You were the one who set the standard to which you both now live by. You were the one, who because of the fact you love him, have taken him back into your heart, no matter what he does. You never drew the proverbial "line in the sand". I know right now your thinking I'am a dick head, but sweetie I'am right.

 

  The first mistake you made, was thinking that if you took all of his shit, he would come around. You thought if you loved him unconditionally, he would eventually think "wow, this is a great girl, I love her". This may work in the movies  Dana, but in real life it doesn't amount to shit, because people suck ! Now, do not think I'am downing you, because I'am not. The only thing you are really guilty of, is being a person in love. People tend not to think to well when they are in love, and that is why I'am here my darling to guide you through all of the shit.

 

  Now, lets turn the tables on him shall we Dana ? Here is what you need to do. First of all, no more telling him how you feel. No more telling him how much you love him, and want to be with him again. I know it will be hard for you, but you are only shooting yourself in the foot. You must stop calling him as much, and when you talk to him, keep the conversation short. Be "DISTANT BUT FRIENDLY".

 

  If you have read my other stuff, you have heard this term before. If you have not, let me clue you in. Always be friendly when you talk, but not over friendly. Treat him like you would treat a good acquaintance. Don't lay out all your cards on the table, whenever you speak. Don't call him every day, or take his calls all the time.

 

  You need to make him start to wonder what is up with you. Make him think "geez, she isn't mad at me, but she sure is acting different". By being distant but friendly, what you are doing is you are making him guess what you are doing. Your silently planting the seed in his head, that you may have found someone new. He'll be asking himself "where are all of the usual compliments...where is the love...why is Dana acting different...she is kinda of distant now". "Did she meet someone" ?

 

  What happens next is he will start to doubt himself. He will start to crave your approval again. Like I said, he needs you more than you need him. You just have to make him realize it, by taking about 20 steps back away from him. You will find, that he will be the one to call you all of the time. He will start giving YOU compliments. He will start to tell YOU how much he cares.

 

  It will be hard at first Dana, because it seems like you are not a game player. Like I told you, you appear to be a great girl. You HAVE to fight the urge to call him as  much as you usually do. You HAVE to fight the urge to tell him how you feel about him. Believe me girl, he ALREADY knows how you feel, so no more, You got it ? We need to take him off of that huge pedestal you have placed him on. We need to make that fucker stand down here, with the rest of us shit heads.

 

  It may take a week, two weeks, a month. Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IN. The first week or so, he will be in denial, so you might not see any results. The whole key here, is to stick it out. I can promise you, IT WORKS EVERY TIME. Now, here is the next part of my advise.

 

  Why do you love him ? Why do you want to be with someone that keeps you hanging ? Why do you want to be with someone who tells you half truths ? Like I said, you seem like a really cool girl, and you deserve better than that, cause you are better than that. I know love is a hard thing to fight, but look at is this way. If he is doing this shit already, why do you want to be with him still? He is obviously an immature guy, or he would not be playing stupid games.

 

  He also appears to be a selfish bitch. You said you two are still friends right ? Well let me tell you, if he really cared about you, he would not lead you on. If he REALLY cared about you, and not himself, he would WANT you to meet a really nice guy. He would openly encourage you to go hook up with some really cool guy, but he doesn't.

 

  Its ok for him to go play the field, all the while you are left holding a bag full of his emotional luggage. The most important person in this guys life is HIM. You don't need that my love. You need someone who is not selfish. You need someone who will put you before himself. This guy has been holding you back, from the chance to find a good guy, for his on selfish needs. I think you are in love with what you want this guy to be, not what he really is. Dana, he will NEVER be the guy you are in love with, because he does not exist.

 

  If you follow my advice, you will get the chance to be with him again. The question is, do you really want to be with him ? Write me back and let me know how it goes ok ? Or just write me back to tell me how you are doing, ok Dana ? Thanks sweetie, take care of yourself :)

 

  be safe,

  Ferg

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's better to have loved and lost ?

  There is a famous saying out there, that has been around for a very long time. While the author who coined the phrase slips my memory, I'am sure many of my loyal readers know who I'am talking about. A phrase that warms the cockles of ones heart, and makes people go "aawwhh".

Oh yeah, it would probably help if I actually told ya'll the phrase, "its better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all".

 

  Well, I've got a phrase of my own to describe what I feel about that saying, "bull fucking shit". I'll bet ya $20.00 BUCKS, the fuck nut who struck that phrase, NEVER lost. I bet everything that mother fucker touched, turned to god damn gold, including women. I guess you can tell I'am a bitter mother fucker. Well I'am, so fuck him and the love train he rode in on. Let me introduce you to the reality of loving and losing.

 

  You meet this girl, and in an instant you are hooked. You don't know why, but you think about her day and night. She has every quality you have ever wanted in a girl, and then some. Slowly but surely, you two get to know each other, and you two become friends. With each passing day, you think you can't fall any harder, but you do my friend, oh you do.

 

  Then, out of the blue, like a lightning strike on a sunny day, she tells you she likes you too. Your heart pounds so hard, you think your gonna have a fucking heart attack. This can't be real. God must really like you, because this is like a fucking miracle. You two talk on a level that you never imagined, and you set up a REAL FUCKING DATE ! Oh boy, we've got a live one here.

 

  You two go out, and you have a blast. She nuzzles up to you all night long. The feel of her touch is like electricity. Her smell is sweet and intoxicating. You keep pinching yourself, because somewhere in your mind, you are scared shitless this is just a very vivid dream. You like this girl so much, the last thought you have on your mind is having sex with her. Just holding her hand is better than the best sex you ever had. It doesn't get any better than this.

 

  A few weeks later, things are going so great, you feel like the king of the world. She loves you, you love her, and it looks like you finally found your true soul mate. You can't imagine what life was like without her. Did you even have a life ? Nope, your life started the day you two got together, and that's all there is to it. Then, in the distance you hear it, "beep..beep..beep". The noise keeps growing louder and louder, but what the fuck is it ? That's right, it's that fucking alarm clock from the last paragraph. Wake up dick head, dream time is over.

 

  One day your phone rings, and its her. You can tell by her voice, something is not right. She beats around the bush for a few minutes, and then finally she hits you with it. She does not want to see you anymore. You ask her why, and she gives you some lame ass excuse. You try to reason with her, but she won't hear it. You beg her to just see you, and talk to you in person, but again she tells you no. You beg her not to do it, and you even cry. What the fuck just happened, and why did she take your heart, if she didn't plan on keeping it ?

 

  Well my friend, in most cases, you just got ass fucked by the folks I talked about in a previous post, the Assholes and Budinskies. They, however, are not the focus of our subject, but we still hate those dirty fuckers for real !!! Anyway, off she goes with your heart. It's over, and that's it. You try to function, but you can't. Forget about getting out of bed, even breathing is a complicated task. You can't eat, and you can't sleep. Your every thought is STILL of her, but your these thoughts hurt you, like a thousand daggers through your soul or what's left of it.

 

  You cling to your friends for support. You try to keep your mind busy, but it just doesn't matter. Your closest friends take you out drinking, and you even get hit on by the prettiest chick in the bar. It doesn't matter, does it ? Brittany Spears could walk up to you, and tell you that she has been waiting for you her whole life. You don't care, It's not her, and you feel nothing.

 

  The weeks go by, and you have managed to accomplish many things you used to take for granted, before her. You even took a shower the other day. Wow, your making progress. Months go by, and you still miss her with all of your heart. You have actually managed to fool everyone into thinking you are ok, but you know you will never get over her. You know for as long as you live, the day she left you, she really did take your heart with her. She left you with a void, that will never be filled.

 

  While talking to a intellectual friend of yours about the whole thing, he says it, he says the fucking phrase.  Maybe he was really trying to make you feel better. Maybe he was just trying to impress you with his knowledge or alleged wisdom. Whatever the case may be, it is at this moment you realize your friend is a total idiot.

 

  The moral of the story is this. It is not better to have loved and lost. Not by a long shot. As much as we day dream about being with a person or fall in love with them from a distance, it is nothing like actually being with that person. How could you miss the taste of strawberries, if you never ate one ? They may look so fucking yummy, that you drool every time you picture them, but you can't miss what you never tasted.

 

  You might miss what may have been with that person, but you would have never truly known, unless the two of you were actually a couple. Now don't confuse this whole thing with a relationship that went through it's natural course. The relationship where after being with someone for awhile, you both realize you can not stand the fucking sight of each other. I've been talking about that whirl wind romance, that just sweeps you off of your fucking feet. "The higher the fire, the shorter the flame", is the saying the comes to mind.

 

  I wish I could tell all of you to avoid these types of relationships, but it really is impossible to do. When your heart takes over your soul, all caution is regretfully tossed to the wind. Sometimes, as with my parents, these relationships do work out. In other cases they don't. Its kind of like playing Russian Rolette. You either win big, or lose even bigger.

 

  Just consider me to be the proverbial warning on the medicine label. The one that tells you, even though this product may cure what you have wrong with you, it can also cause palpitations, nausea, panic disorder, sleeplessness, dizziness, and death. I hope the chamber is empty for you.

 

  Be safe,

  Ferg

 

 

 

   

 

 

   

 

 

FW: kiss me before you fuck me please

  I drove to the gas station the other day, and I nearly shit my pants. No, it had nothing to do with the pre packaged beef and bean buritto I bought there. Before I ate the buritto and filled the gas tank in my tummy, I needed to fill the gas tank in my jeep. So I get out, and run into the store, and tell the counter guy "twenty on pump two please".  I slap that yummy burrito on the counter, pay for it, then its outside to my awaiting Jeep I go.

  As usual, I selected regular unleaded. After I made my selection, I figured "shit, I must have made a mistake". The price was fucking $2.58 A GOD DAMN GALLON !!!! I didn't remember hearing any more bad news then usual from the middle east. George Bush's global war on whatever was going as horrible as usual. No breaking news, however. No more stories of Iran developing  nuclear weapons or of it turning out Osama is really a chick with a dick. Nope, not a fucking thing.

 

  So later on, I go home and get on line, to see if I missed something. I had to have, right? Not that the price from the two days ago, a $2.23 a gallon was any friggin' bargain, but it sure beat the shit out of $2.58  a fucking gallon. Then, I found it. There it was, the holy grail to my gas price increase. The answer which had eluded me all fucking day. The price of gas had gone up, because of the "summer driving season". Hmmmm, ain't that special. Lets talk about this, shall we ?

 

  In case ya'll don't  know, since the year 2000, or the time "W" took office, the oil companies have made the biggest profits in the history of oil consumption. In the year of 2005, Exxon-Mobile recorded the biggest profit made by any company, regardless of the product they sell. As a matter of fact, the profit they made was soooo huge, if they were an actual country, they would be ranked number 16 in world in world economics !! In other words, only 15 COUNTRIES have a stronger economy, then fucking Exxon-Mobile. These cock bag mother fuckers made a profit of 371 BILLION dollars last year.

 

  To give you an idea how big of a profit this really is, they could give every American 1 million dollars, and STILL make a profit of 136 billion dollars. Is that fucking amazing or what ? And you want to hear the BEST part ? Are you ready, are you sitting down ? Due to all the tax breaks "W" put into effect for the big oil companies, these fuckers paid UNDER 2 million dollars in taxes. Does anyone else feel pretty dicked over right now ? Or am I the only one in the world with a mother fucking brain ?

 

  The moral of the story is this. Can these fuck face scum bags at least kiss me before they fuck me ? I understand the principles of free trade and all of that other horse shit, but when is enough enough ? At what point do we say in one loud collective voice "FUCK YOU" ? Where's the fucking government to stick up for us ? Are they not our "voice" ? Oh yeah, that's right, the oil companies also have the largest political lobby group in Washington D.C. This means that your voice and your vote don't mean shit. Money talks, and bullshit walks pal. Sorry average American voter, due to kick backs, campaign contributions, and free vacations to countries were child prostitution is legal, your vote and your voice doesn't count for shit.

 

  What can we do about this problem ? How can we get these fuckers to at least kiss us before they fuck us ? Maybe a little "spit lube" too ? Well, for starters, we need to remind the dick heads in Washington D.C., they work for "US", not corporate world. We need to fax, e-mail, write letters, protest, and do whatever we have to, to get their attention. Election time is coming up soon. Look at your representatives voting record on issues. See who's side they have been on. If you see a pattern of voting on issues that have shown they voted against what best represents the American people, vote that mother fucker back to his/her home town. Remember, these issues don't even need to be about big oil.

 

  It is each and every American citizens job, to be vigilant. Keep yourself current on the issues that affect the USA, foreign and domestic. Know the facts for yourself, so you don't have to get spoon fed the information the politicians want you to know, while in the same breath, they exclude the things they DON'T want you to know. The most important thing to remember is this. The US Constitution is a miracle of a document. It is what has made us the greatest nation on earth. We must respect it, and follow it, even today. Remember, its not just a "god damn piece of paper".

 

  Now go out there and learn about the issues, and fucking vote.

 

  be safe,

  Ferg

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

FW: budinskies and assholes

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  You meet the girl of your dreams, and for a short while, things are going great. The both of you are like two peas in the proverbial pod, and you just can't get enough of each other. She's the only thought on your mind 24 hours a day, and the only regret that you have, is there isn't 30 hrs in the day to spend with her. The best part is, she feels just like you do.

 

  Its smooth sailing for a bit, and then it happens. Your dream boat crashes onto the coral reefs of jealousy. Your sails get torn apart by the evil winds blowing out of the mouths of assholes. That's right my friend, your new found relationship has just been destroyed by the Budenskies and Assholes of the world. A horrible breed of people, whom for whatever reason, just can't be happy for two people whom care about each other.

 

  Let me tell you this, I wish these people would drop fucking dead. They are a miserable group of people indeed. Because of this, they will stop at nothing to make everyone around them miserable. Oh no, if they can't be happy, they will be damned if anyone can be. They just hate their lives sooo fucking bad, they must destroy happiness at all costs, whether its their business or not. Happiness to these fuckers, is like sunshine to a god damn vampire. Prolonged exposure to it, may fucking kill them.

 

  Most of these "vampires" are fucking miserable, because they can't keep their fucking pants on. They fuck everything with a dick or a pussy. If for some reason someone slips through their cross hairs, and pays them no attention, look out world. Especially if the cross hair dodger hooks up with someone they know. That really pisses them off.

 

  You see, these ass holes also think they are better, prettier, smarter, sexier...etc, so if they don't feel they have gotten their proper a due, you and your new found love are fucked.  Many of these vampires are not even close friends, but acquaintances and co-workers. A real friend would want someone they call a friend to have a wonderful and happy life. That's why they are your friends. Unlike a friend, however, if these fucking scumbag cock suckers see anyone they know in a happy relationship, they get all kinds of jealous.

 

  Instead of being delighted for that person, they take it like a personal insult that someone can be happy, without fucking everyone in the god damn planet. They then make it their personal goal, to destroy you and your new found happiness, even though its none of their god damn business. "How could you want them when I am so fucking hot" is their whiney little worthless battle cry. So then they spread rumors, and talk all kinds of shit amongst themselves. Blah blah blah fucking blah. Their mouths go none stop, 24 hours a fucking day.

 

  After hours, days and weeks of the relentless barrage of bullshit, Your new found love can no longer take it. She seems stressed out all the time, and she gets short with you. She doesn't want to see you all of the time. You know something is wrong, but you can't out your finger on it. Slowly, but steadily, your relationship is failing. If you only knew what the problem was, you would not want to only put a finger on it, but all five of them in a balled up fist, to someone's big fucking mouth. And then they are gone, and you are alone.

 

  The moral of the story is this. If you see things going bad in a new relationship for what appears to be no reason, rest assured, its these dog ass fucking people. The only way to save the situation before it spirals out of control, is to  stay as far away from these people as you can. If you notice any of these fuck bags getting into your business, confront them and let them know to butt the fuck out.

 

  Give your other half twice as much love as these dick smokers steal away. Let them know you love them without conditions. Move to another town, city, county, state, country, planet...but do whatever you must. Build good enough open communication skills in the beginning of you relationship, so that when these maggots start talking their shit, she/he will feel comfortable enough to talk to you about the things being said. Good luck, and be strong.

 

  Be safe,

 

  Ferg