Mike P seeks advice

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Hello my friends. As I stated in the very first day I started imparting my wisdom to ya'll, I am here for one reason, and that is you, the readers. Well, Mike P has sent us a question in regards to a problem he has been having with the ladies, and by god we are gonna help you Mikey. Mike wrote :"Hey Mike, all the girls which I like say they love me and crap, but they just don't wanna go out with me. Is there like anyway to change things ? I mean I've tried charming them, but it doesn't seem to work".

First off, let me say Mike, thanks for writing bro. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day, to read the stupid shit I write. Now, to get to your question, which is a good one may I add. Its funny you brought this question to me Mike, cause I was once like you. At one time in my life, I had a shit load of girl friends, and when I say friends, I mean friends. I'm talking not even a slip of the nip, nadda, nothing, zilcho...you get the point ?

I had loads of friends, guys and girls. I was always the funny guy at every party, and everyone loved to hang out with me. Girls would call me all hours of the day and night. Not to tell me they wanted me, but to cry on my shoulder about some ass hole they were in love with. It fucking sucked bro. Being the cool dude that I was, and I bet you are too, I would listen to every word they would tell me, and then give them some really good ideas on how to fix things.

The reality was, I wanted to tell them, the best part of the guy they wanted, ran down their guy's mom's throat. I didn't, however, and my list of loyal women "friends" grew and grew. I'll bet $20.00 bucks you can relate bro. Well after ages of what seemed like no pussy, and a massive califlower ear from all the phone calls, I told myself "enough is enough".

I was sick of being "friends" with all these hot chicks, and not hooking up when ANY of them. What kind of shit is that ? It would be one thing to hear all of this bitching, if I was at least getting laid, but like I said, ZILCHO. In your e-mail, you stated that you even tried charming them, and that didn't work. Well my brother, of course it didn't work, and I will tell you why.

I know this is gonna sound crazy, but girls, especially younger ones, like a challenge. Don't ask me why bro, because I honestly could not tell you. Women are a totally different breed, and thats all there is to it. They don't think like men, and thats probably a good thing, because they all would be lesbians. Myself for example, am just a lesbian trapped in a man's body, and you are too.

Not only do they like a challenge, but once you become friends with a girl, your done. You could be the hottest fucking guy in the universe, and it wouldn't matter. The "friend" label is the kiss of death for getting pussy bro. So there I was, the most popular guy I knew, and no pussy to show for it. Let me tell you bro, I was becoming one bitter bitch. Thats when it hit me. The philosophy which took me from being a perpetual monkey smacker, to a pussy getting mother fucker.

I call it the "distant but friendly" method. Let me explain it to you. For some reason, I am betting that your a pretty easy guy to talk to Mike, and that is a VERY GOOD thing. All the chicks you know dig you, cause you must be a cool guy, make no mistake about that. The problem is, because your so easy to talk too, they become afraid to hook up with you. It's a subconcious fear of losing you, if things don't work out. Plus, when your that easy to talk to, you are no longer a challenge. believe me bro, I only know this, cause I fucking lived it for years. My hands are still blisterd from the dry spell of of women I had.

What you need to do Mike, is be distant, but friendly. This will work on both the women you already know, and any new ones you may meet. I want you to still be the cool and funny guy you are, cause this is what gets the ladies attention. Now the tricky part. Don't appear to be over eager to hook up, even though you are. Still give the ladies complaments, but not near as many.

When the focus of their attention starts to turn towards them, or if they start talking about some other dudes, bail out of the conversation. Be polite, and don't make it look like your bailing out. Try changing the subject at first, and if that doesn't work, get the fuck outta there bro !! Your only heading for a pussy disaster if you stay in the conversation. Whatever reason you make up, use it without delay.

Lets say your trying to hook up with Suzy Q. You two meet, and she is a cool ass chick. You two start talking, and the conversation is really great. You talk about your favorite music, foods, blah blah blah. You start to tell each real personal shit. You tell her about your first wet dream, and she tells you about her first period, and stuff like that. This is not good Mike, and I am betting this is the type of guy your are. Believe me bro, I am not knocking you, because I was the same exact way.

Keep the conversations light bro. Keep them funny too. Don't try so hard to show them the really excellent guy I am sure you are. Let them find out for themselves. Keep the phone calls somewhat short, unless the girl tells you she really is starting to dig you. Don't ask them out, until they are drooling at your feet, and chomping at the bit to be with you. If they start to tell you about their old boyfriend nightmares, again, get out of that line of conversation bro. Also, don't seem like you are desperate, because your not. Your just a normal, horney dude, like the rest of us.

What you have just done by following this line of advise my friend, is you have now made yourself a challenge to the ladies. Unlike the assholes these stupid girls normally chase around, however, you are still a friendly and cool dude. This is what gets you ALL the pussy bro. You've now become the cool and funny challenge. The news of this will spread like wild fire too. Once one chick thinks your a cool and funny challenge, she'll tell two girl friends, who will tell two more girlfiends. Its kinda like the domino effect.

Unlike men, the crazy thing about women, is that when one girl tells another girl she likes you, the second chick will start to wonder about you. Even if she never thought about you before, once her girlf friend starts to talk about you, she will wonder what the other girl saw in you, and what she is missing, by not being with you. I don't know why it happens this way, but it really does.

Like I said before, you can use the "distant but friendly" method to get that hot new chick you just met, the five year friend, or even you ex-girlfriend you still are in love with. I know this advise sounds crazy Mike, but believe me, it will work. Mike, make sure you write me back, and keeo me posted.

Be safe,

ferg