To regret or not regret

Regret. The mere word conjures up images of, well, regret. What is regret, and why do we regret certain things we have done ? Hmm, well, that is the question of the day my children, so lets explore it, shall we ?

For starters, like anything else, there is most certainly levels of regret. And, believe it or not, regret is a multi sided issue. Here is just one example. There she is standing before you. She is so sweet and pretty, and she wants you oh so bad ! You have dreamed about this moment for so long, and like an amazing dream, its finally here. Screeeeeecchhh! Who the fuck just hit the brakes ??? Oh yea, that's right, you have girlfriend, and this little hottie ain't her.

But the girl standing before you is so friggin' hot, you figure she must be blind or stoned if she wants to hook up with you. With out a single doubt, you will never get this chance, with this girl again. But your girl friend has always been there for you, and she never lets you down. She is also very cute and charming, and all of your friends like her. She even likes fucking SPORTS !!! What to do, what to do ?

You have now just met multi sided regret. Or as my dear ole momma used to say, "your damned if you do, and your damned if you don't". If you stab this hot chick with your love harpoon, your gonna feel really shitty the next time your watching that Astro's game with your girl friend. Worse than that, you might even get fucking caught. Whew, now wouldn't that suck a fat dick ?

Well guess what, in this story, I am gonna make you open wide, cause here comes the dirty fat dick, and its aiming right for your mouth. Yup, you got caught. You feel like shit, your girl is throwing up in the bathroom , asking god over and over what did SHE do wrong. You look at those tear stained eyes, and man you feel like a god damn jack ass. You feel it don't you ? Yup, that's right, you feel REGRET.

Now, here's the other side of that REGRET. Lil missy hottie is down on her knees, just begging for a taste of you summer sausage. Her shirt is half undone, and there are beads of sweat running down her love pillows. OH GOD SHE WANTS YOU SO BAD !!!! As hard as your dick is, you just can't hurt lil miss ESPN. Nope, this hottie was a great jerk off fantasy, but you just can't bring yourself to fuck her. You walk away from her, and as your heading out the door, lil miss hottie asks you in the most sincere voice, "are you gay" ?

So off you go, actually feeling good about yourself, temptation looked you right in the eye, and you didn't even blink, you are the fucking man !! Still pumped up from the close encounter of a hot kind, you go see what lil miss ESPN is doing. Within five minutes, you two are fighting big time, over something not even closely related to you possibly cheating on her. "GET OUT", she yells, and off you go. Out the fucking door for the second time in one night.

Man you are steamed. "Fuck her, stupid bitch", you say to yourself. You passed up the fuck of a life time for what ? A fuck you would have been telling your grand kids about in 40 years. What the fuck were you thinking ? Ass like lil miss hottie comes along once in a life time, well maybe twice, but its fucking rare. And you passed it up for Tammy the tomboy...aka you girl friend. Now your regretting NOT fucking her. See, isn't this shit nuts when you really put some thought behind it ?

As they say in those fucking four in the morning infomercials. "but wait there's more". Lets say, you did fuck lil miss hottie like a runaway freight train, and you shot a nut all over lil miss hottie's caboose. Then you go to meet your girl. She never finds out, and you don't get caught. For some strange reason, you still feel regret. You can't put your finger on it, but you do. This is confusing the shit out of you, and its making you lose sleep. What the fuck is up ?

The answer is simple. Most normal human beings are hard wired to regret things we do, that we know are wrong. On the other hand, we are also hard wired to regret things that we don't do, especially if we really want to do something or someone really bad. Without regret, all of mankind would be one messed up colloge of unbridaled passion. Nothing would ever get done, cause we would be to busy fucking. We would still be in the fucking stone age, like the Flintstones.

You gotta admit though, Willma Flintstone is one sexy bitch. Actaully, Beatty is pretty fucking sweat too, I'd give that whoe some of my brountosaurus burger !!! I have no idea how she could ever fuck Barney Rubble, he is a fucking idiot. No wonder they had to adopt Bam Bam. Beatty just couldn't bring herself to fuck that tree trunk looking mother fucker. Wait a second, I am losing track here, gotta stay focused.

The moral of the story is this. There is no magic answer for regret. It is a nescessary evil we all must deal with. Just remeber this. If you do something that casues you regret, or somewhere down the road causes you regret, don't carry that heavy load for long. Let it go. I've seen so many people burdened down with regret, it not only slows them down, it brings them to a complete halt. That "somewhere" down the road of life, becomes a permanant place in the road, never to walk ahead. Kinda like the homelss guys under the freeway overpass.

Its your life, go live it, but don't regret it.

Ferg