Dana's update

  Oh my dear sweet Dana. Let me start by saying you do not sound pathetic at all. There is not a single person over the age of 10, that can honestly say they have not felt the kind of pain you are feeling. We all have hurt like you are now, so stop with that "pathetic" stuff right now young lady. Now that I am armed with more info, from the last two e-mails you sent, we are gonna dig deeper into what your going through.

 

  The one thing you told me was he cheated on you, and that's why you broke up. That's a big problem right there, but here is how it gets multiplied by a million. Once he cheated on you, and you two split up, I'am sure you were devastated. The pattern for the rest of the relationship was set, however, when you kept telling him how much you cared. I'am sure you also told him you wanted him back. That was a big mistake, because by doing this, you gave him the green light to treat you like shit.

 

  So now we got ole cock boy, thinking his shit does not stink one bit. He has this girl (you) madly in love with him, even though he cheated like a fucking dog. Just like the first push on a domino, once the first one falls, its hard to stop them. Its pretty obvious from what you have told me, you have never drawn a line in the sand, and said "if you cross this line, fuck off and die you piece of shit". He keeps pushing you, because you allow him to.

 

  This is were the distant but friendly part comes into play. If he didn't need you in his life, he would have stopped talking to you a long time ago. The thing is however, he does. You make him feel good about himself, and you do it for FREE!!! You make no demands on him whatsoever. All he has to do, is sit back, and enjoy the ego trip you give him. He is used to the attention after all this time. Believe me, when you cut it off, which hopefully you will, he will notice it.

 

  You wrote in you follow up e-mail, you have been trying the "distant" approach, but it has not been working. Well remember what I told you. It is gonna take a least a week to really sink into ol'e boys head, that you are pulling away.  Plus, I get the feeling your only making a half hearted effort. I know your not a game player, but its pretty clear you have had no luck in the past.

 

  Look at this like a game of poker. A good poker player NEVER shows his/her own hand. They never let the other players see what's going on inside of their heads. They always keep their "poker face" up, whether they have four aces, or a shitty hand. You must do the same thing. At this point, you have nothing to lose, and your sanity to gain.

 

  Keep trying the ol'e "distant" method. Trust me sweetie, you'll get his attention. In the mean time, you need to focus on other things like your friends, other guys...etc  You need to free up your mind, and stop wasting all of your emotional energy on him, and put it to better use. Use it on YOU :)