been tied up

  Ok, I know all of my new minions of readers are asking, "where the fuck is yesterdays piece". What happened asshole, you run out of stupid little stories, and fat girls with cookies ? Well, the answer is no, I have not. The fact of the matter is, like the rest of you, I have a real job.

 

  I wish I could make enough money, imparting my great words of wisdom to ya'll, and not have to work a real job, but sadly this is not the case. So, with that being said, I promise ya'll that tomorrow, I will have a great piece for ya, cause I love ya'll so much.

 

  I wish I could just bang out a piece for you right now, but I have been up for almost 24 hours, and I have to get my fat, sorry ass to bed, cause I gotta be at work by 10:00. Believe it or not, I put a lot of energy into my cute little diddies, and I would never write a shitty little piece, just to fill up a page (unless of course you count this hahahah:)

 

 So tune in tomorrow :)

 

  be safe

  ferg

Passing the stupidity buck

---

Watch out today world, my balls are as twisted as a hangman's noose. Why is it that everyone always wants to pass the stupidity buck ? Why is it that everyone wants to point fingers at everyone else, but themselves ? Its like a circle jerk of stupidity. All of these motherfuckers throwing stones, as they sit in their glass asylums. When does it stop ?

Lets look at the state of affairs in the fucked up world in which we live, shall we ? The Muslims are all fired up over a cartoon that depicts Mohammed and Muslims as being violent. And boy are they pissed off too. Hmmmm, if I were Muslim, how would I express myself ? How would I let the entire world know, that I was upset about such blasphemous claims ?

Oh, I've got an idea, lets just blow things up, set embassies on fire, and threaten the life of the cartoonist who created the cartoon piece. That'll show 'em. Lets show the world how stupid humanity can get, by allowing a fucking cartoon to be the catalyst for so much destruction. That will learn 'em. Can anyone say moronic ? Why the fuck would they do this ? Cartoonist-1, Muslims-0.

After the tragic events of 911, the whole nation was in shock. The good ole USA just got sucker punched right between the eyes, and man did it fucking hurt. Everyone knew things would never be the same again. The people of our great nation needed a reason. We wanted to know why such a dark day in our history had occurred.

We waited with baited breath, for our President to speak. There he grimly sat in the oval office. Clad in a black suit, with an American flag pin proudly displayed on his left lapel, he told all of us "they hate us for our freedom". The President then went on to talk about how the terrorists would do anything to destroy us, and our love of freedom.

"OK", I thought. Sounds kinda fucking silly to me, but hey, who am ? If that's what the President said, by all means, it must be the way it is. So, now what ? The leader of the free world just announced the reason why we were attacked so brutally was our love of freedom. The President also told us not to let the terrorists affect our way of life. "Shop till you drop", was the President's's battle cry !! We will change for no one. Sounds good to me, lets go to the fucking mall.

But change we did. You see, they did affect the way we live. The President accomplished with a pen, what the downing of two towers could not do.The President signed the Patriot act, giving the government the right to take away any and all freedoms granted by the US Constitution, if the government so chooses to do so. Hello, did I miss something, or did we all just get ass fucked with no Vaseline ? Terrorists-2, USA-0.

So off to war we go, hunting down Oasma and weapons of mass destruction. Oops, no Osama here, no weapons of mass destruction there. Suddenly, the USA is striking out like a straight guy at an all lesbian party. Time to shift gears, before we look like a bunch of idiots. Ok, we are in Iraq and Afghanistan to liberate both countries from the brutal dictatorships that were in control. Regimes that would torture and kill. Oh no, we can't have any of that.

So what do we do ? Oh, we start torturing the very people we are claiming to liberate. Boy, now that's original. What idiot thought that one up ? Probably the same fucking lame ass who came up with "they hate us because of our freedom". Like I said before, sounds kinda fucking silly to me. USA-0, Iraq and Afghanistan-0.

I rember when I was kid, I could sit out in the sun for a week, and not get a sun burn. No sir, maybe a good tan, but never burnt. I also remember, as a kid, we didn't have super hurricanes whipping the shit out us once a week. Killer foods, killer storms, tornados, acid rain, shit everyday llife is becoming more and more like a hollywood survival flick. Scientists from all over the world stated it as clear as crystal, GLOBAL WARMING.

No, no, no, you have got it all wrong my friend, there is no such thing as global warming. Its just a natrual process the earth follows every twenty thousand years or so. Take one guess who keeps throwing out that lamo excuse ?? You give up ? Thats right, its the same folks who brought you the imaginary energy crisis. This response to the issue of global warming has been brought to you by the fine scientists who work for Exxon-Moblie. The same folks who broke the record for the largest profits EVER made by a coperation. Yup, Exxon-Mobile made a proifit of 371 BILLION dollars in the year of 2005. Exxon-371 billion, the rest of the world-0.

I could go on and on...but there are just so many issues to cover. The moral of the story is this. Always look at the angle. Always look at who benifits from something and why. Even though we get bombarded by a shit load of information, its pretty easy to see what the truth and whats bullshit.

You see my friends, the stupidity buck usually gets passed, when someone is trying to draw attention away from the fucked up shit they do. People do it all of the time. Unless we start to stop the buck passing, we may not be fucked, but our children, and our grand children will be. Stop the insanity, stop the buck.

Be safe,

Ferg

I like my pain, and you should too

---

How come almost everyone I know is on anti-depressants ? Why is it that millions and millions of people go to psychiatrists each year ? Everyone is always bitching and boo hooing about something. "My dad didn't love me enough", "I'm very sensitive", "no one cares about me"...enough already. I've got a phrase for all of you, "shut the fuck up" !!

What the fuck is going on as of late ? Why has humanity turned into a collective pool of fucking pussys ? Why do we always try to blame our "pain" for being assholes, cheaters,drunks, fuck ups...etc ? Our pain becomes the excuse for being all of these things. Usuallyafter we get caught being one of the assorted things I just listed, we suddenly have a "problem". "I need help", has become the battle cry this generation.

Thanks to the American medical association, you to can be a fucking useless jerk off, and not blame your self for it, because they have already scape goated you out ofit by classifying it as a "disease". Fucking A, ain't that special.

So now you have been diagnosed, and its time for the medication baby !! Society and the various producers of "legal" narcotics (giant pharmaceutical companies), have created just the pill for your "problem". They will help you with the pain, I swear they will. Take three of these, a day, and two of these before bed. Oh, don't forget to take five of these when you wake up.

Keep taking these for the rest of your life, and you'll be fine. Fine that is, until you fuck up again. Don't worry, they have a pill for that too. You just stay doped up, walking around like a mindless zombie. Its ok, we are in control. Are you feeling any pain ? No ? Good.

I think a good chunk of this problem is Oprah's fault. All of that feel good fucking horse shitshe started pushing many years ago, turned all of us into a bunch of blabbering, mind fucked idiots. She was then followed by the likes of Dr. Phil, and man was he not the nail in the proverbial coffin or what ?

I'm not saying Oprah is the reason why everyone is on Paxil, Lexapro, or one of the gazillion other assorted mind drugs out there. She was just the gate keeper, who let the world know "its ok to hurt, its not your fault". BAM !! Next thing you know, Prozac is the biggest selling drug...ever.

Now, every time I hear someone bitching I just want to shit my fucking pants. If it ever comes to the point where I actually really do shit my pants, I am gonna save them in the freezer. You watch, I really fucking will too. You know why ? Cause I am gonna save those shit filled drawers, and fly to Chicago. I'm gonna get on Google, and do a web search, to find out where she lives.When I do find her house, I'm gonna use the shit in my fucking undies like side walk chalk, and write in big brown letters, "you owe me five bucks for these fucking underpants".

The moral of the story is this. I like my pain. Whether it has been for the better or the worse, it has made me who I am today. I don't want to get rid of my pain. I actually need my pain, we all do. Pain is like the sculptor, and we are like the clay. Our pain shapes and molds us into the people we become. Without our pain, we would be nothing but shapeless lumps of clay.

The whole key to pain, is to use it like the teacher it really is. Let pain make you a stronger person, not weaker. Don't run from it, but embrace it. Turn it around, and use it to your advantage. Let it be a motivator to succeed, not an excuse to fail. Nor is it an excuse to become a slave to the pharmaceutical companies. Don't use your pain as a reason to become a mental midget. Pain isn't a free pass to slip out the side door of life.

I can't make it any easier for you then this. If it weren't for pain, how would you know not to touch the burning hot stove ? Without pain, we would become a world of charred handed mother fuckers, unable to pick things up, cause we would have nothing left for fingers, but crispy nubs. By allowing ourselves to try to push off, and blame our pain for things, we are not learning from the pain we experience. We get a little mental boo boo, and its right to the drug store, so we don't have to feel it anymore.

Society has become the proverbial "crispy nubs". Unless we toughen up as a whole, we will all be walking around with minds like "crispy nubs". Eventually, we will all be as useless as tits on a fucking bull, and that's a bunch of pussy ass horse shit. Don't be so fucking weak. Go talk to your friends, go unwind, go meditate, go exercise. But don't you dare cave in, and become like every other asshole, DON'T do that. Let that back bone grow, and be strong !!!!

I know it hurts, but its ok, YOUR in control. Don't forget it.

Be safe,

Ferg

Fat girls with cookies

  The story I am about to tell you is something we all can relate to.

We have all had a person in their lives like I am about to describe. You

might not ever had admitted it. It doesn't matter, cause I know it,

and so do you. My story happened in high school.

 

  She was one of my best friends in the world. We talked on the phone for

hours on end. We laughed together, and we cried together. We did almost

everything together, including eat, and man could she fucking eat.

 

  You see, she had a little bit of a weight problem. She wasn't obese, but

boy was she thick. Her face was beautiful, and her boobs were HUGE too.

She had great eyes, but boy she was thick. This was high school. I was

popular, and she was thick.

 

  She was in love with me, but I would pretend like I didn't know. That

way I didn't have to deal with it. I loved her of course, but I couldn't allow

myself to be "in love" with her. It was high school, I was popular, and she

was thick.

 

  We never talked about it. She didn't have the confidence to come right

out and tell me how she really felt. She knew she was thick too. We both

knew deep down inside, if the conversation about feelings came up, things

would never, could never be the same.

 

  One of the coolest and most caring things anyone has ever done for me,

would occur with her on a daily basis. She knew I loved chocolate chip

cookies more than sex. I loved them so much, sometimes I would jerk off

holding a bag of chips O' hoy cookies, I loved them that much. Being my best

friend, she knew this.

 

  She would meet me EVERY SINGLE MORNING before home room, with a

big bag of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. When I say fresh baked, I'm

talking so fresh, the fucking bag was hot to the touch, not just warm. She

did this every day for three years.

 

  Half way through our senior year, something happened. Something that I still

have not recovered from. My best friend met someone, and they started dating.

HOW DARE SHE DO THAT !! She can't date anyone. She belongs to me.

 

  At first everything was cool. We were still best friends. As the weeks went by,

the phone calls grew shorter. So did the time we spent together out of school.

She would tell me about the things THEY did together, and I hated to hear about

it. I don't know what bothered me more, them being together, or the fact it

bothered me.

 

  Well, as you can probably guess, the cookie supply started to trickle down to

nothing. The daily visits to my locker were no more. We grew apart. The more

we grew apart, the more I realized I was in love with her, and her baking skills.

I tried to ignore these feelings, cause hey, it was high school, I was popular,

and she was thick.

 

  We graduated, and we went our separate ways. She was gone, and I was never

to taste the chocolaty goodness of her fresh baked cookies again. I tried to fill

the void in my life with various store bought brands. I even went to several

different bakeries, but to no avail. Nothing could ever taste as good as her

cookies, and nothing probably ever will.

 

  The moral of the story is simple. Never let other peoples opinions, or what you

think they might be, effect you. I never dated her, or allowed to let myself fall for

her, because I was afraid of what my peers would think. Don't lose out on a

life time of love, or cookies, because of what OTHER people may think. Its your

life, your love, and your cookies. Now go live it.

 

Be safe,

Ferg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

You love what you want them to be

We have all done it. There isn't a person alive who hasn't done it. Well, maybe there are a few people who haven't, but about 99% of the people in the world have done it, me included. Why we do it, I don't fucking know, but its such a self destructive thing, and it hurts like hell. You meet someone, and things go great for the first few dates. Wow, this is it, this is the one. You think about them day and night. Your heart beats out of your chest when you see them. Holly shit, I better drop a line to mom, this could be it!!! The search is over, or is it ?

You've been dating now for a good few months. Your head over heels,

and you think things are great. You just don't understand why your friends

hate your mate. You hear words like "lazy", "non-caring", "loser", "dick",

"bitch". Ahhh, they don't know what the fuck they are talking about.

They are just jealous. Its not one sided, its fifty fifty. Well, maybe sixty

forty, but hey, your in love. Love means sacrifice, right ?

You also don't understand why with all of this "love" going on, your moody

all of the time. You feel depressed when you should be happy. Your bank

account has shrunk like a dick in ice cold water. You get quickly irritated.

You become withdrawn, and you don't hang out with your friends anymore.

Does this sound familiar ?

You two used to be so far up each others asses, you needed a shoe horn to

be separated, but now its kinda different. Its not you, you still want the old

shoe horn to be an iatrical part of the relationship. Its them, or maybe it is you.

Its gotta be your fault.

Things seem distant as of late. You here "I'm going out my friends", more and

more. The more you feel things slipping down that scary slope, you decide to

double, NO triple your efforts. Its gotta be you right ? Maybe you have not

done enough, maybe this will fix things. This person is the GREATEST thing

EVER !!

After eight months to a year, it happens. You hear the magic phrase that

destroys you. It cuts your heart in half, and it shatters your very soul. "I think

we should see other people". You beg and plead, as if your life depended on it.

It doesn't matter though, does it ? They are gone. What did you do wrong ?

Did you not try hard enough ?

Lets cut to the chase, to the moral of the story. Yes my friend, you DID do

something VERY wrong. This doesn't make the relationship failure your

fault, it makes you human. You have just joined a huge fraternity of people

who have been hurt just like you, and me.

The mistake you made ? You loved what you wanted that person to be, not

what they were. You had an image somewhere deep in the recesses of your

mind, of what you thought that person would look like, be like etc...Then along

comes a-hole the heart eater, and your hooked like a large mouthed bass.

No matter what you did, it would not have mattered. Actually, you could have

done something. My mom always used to say "you can't love what you don't

respect". You see, when one person in the relationship does ALL of the giving,

without demanding anything in return, the other person starts to lose respect

for you. The other person might not realize this on a conscious level, but they do.

They start to push the boundaries more and more, kinda like a three year old

child does. The more they push, the more you give. The more you give, the

more they push. Its not just them, its all of us. Its just human nature, we push

things. The problem is, after awhile, even with all of your giving, they leave.

So, what now ? Learn from your mistakes. Next time don't be such a friggin'

push over. SET boundries, and draw a line in the sand. If that line gets crossed,

don't be a pussy. If it gets to that point, bail out, cause the plane is on fire, and

its going down. Remeber, love DOES NOT mean sacrafice, unless of course your

going to donate a kidney to the person you love, but organ donating is another

story.

Be safe,

Ferg

Make' em uncomfortable

In this world there is a group of people I just can't stand. We all know them, and I know we all hate them. Hate, is not a word I use lightly, but these people really spark a fire up in my ass. The word I use to describe them, is the "comfy" class. This is a hideous group of people indeed. A group of people that must be turned into the "uncomfy" class, before they affect you, or someone you really love. We have all felt the sting of the "comfy" class. The most classic group of people in the "comfy" class are the "ATM'S". I call them the ATM'S, not because they GIVE money like an ATM, but they are ALWAYS TAKING MONEY. Usually this money is YOURS. The story is always the same "I get paid on Friday, I'll give it to you then". The problem is, they never tell you WHICH Friday. Being they leave themselves a lot of leeway by just saying "Friday", they could mean this Friday, next Friday, or the first Friday in the year 2025. Next in line are "the borrowers". The favorite line used by this group of dingleberrys is "I'll bring it back tomorrow". Well, for some reason, just like the title of the classic Frank Sinatra song "tomorrow never comes", it never comes for the stuff that gets borrowed neither. These folks purposely say tomorrow instead of lets say....Thursday, because then you can't call them a fucking liar when your shit doesn't come back. You lose, they win, case closed. Hey, lets not forget the "shit don't stinks". Theres always one in every group of friends or employees. This is the ego-testicle prick who thinks he/she is gods gift to beauty, brains...etc. And no, I did not mis-spell egotisticle, I ment to write ego-testicle. I could write a whole fucking novel about these a-holes, but the term is self explanitory. With out a doubt, the worst of the "comfy" class are the "put downs". These are the ones that always say mean shit, to make themselves feel better. It isn't bad enough these dick bags say mean shit that make people feel bad, but they usually pick the right moment in time, to bring a person down as far as they possibley can with one blow. Do you know why they do this ? Cause it just makes them feel good. A great example of this, is a great looking girl moves in next door. Boy is she pretty, and she seems really sweet too. You think she may like you. You catch her looking your way when you walk to your apartment. She always seems to go out of her way, to say hello to you. It takes you weeks to build up the courage to ask her out. The weekend is coming, and you know in your heart, its time. It is time to ask her to go out with you. You see her outside, at the mailbox. You dash into the bathroom, and with two quick squirts of cologne, you rush out the door. As you approach her, you can feel the sweat dripping down your neck. Your eyes meet, the words are almost there, but here comes ole' dick bag. You know it won't be good. "Is it me or did you gain about twenty pounds. Your looking pretty chubby". This same dick bag then turns his attention towards her, and with out a moments hesitation he says "what are you doing this weekend, I would love to take you to dinner". Strikes one, two, and three...your out. The morale of the story is this. If you allow it, the "comfy" class will run all over you. I have spent my entire life going after these assholes. Nothing makes me feel better, than chopping one of these jerk offs down to size. I know it will be hard for you at first, believe me it takes some time developing all of the one liners, and balls big enough to go head to head with these fuckers, but ooohhhh the satisfaction you'll get once you do. The reality is, you actually might be a little let down, because the "comfys" are quite easy to defeat. Its kinda like that really big guy that everyones afraid of, but because he has never had to fight, he doesn't know how. When that big fucker finally throws blows with someone, nine out of ten times, they get their heads handed to them on a silver plater. Just remember, when of these fuck heads feels "comfy" enough to ethier ask you for something, or hurt your feelings, by all means, feel "comfy" enough to tell them to fuck off and die. Be safe, Ferg

My lack of computer skills and Bon Jovi's Ass

Let me start by saying I truly apologize for the ugly way my piece posted yesterday. I don't know what the fuck happened, but I know part of the problem is me. You see, I am one computer illiterate mother fucker. I can't even get my playstation to work half the fucking time.
It really bothers me that I have been left in the emergency lane of the internet highway. Somebody please call me a tow truck. Again, I apologize. Now, to my next subject. Before I begin, let me tell ya'll a couple of things. First off, I am not gay. I have NEVER looked at a man, and thought "wow, I gotta get me some of that ass". I've never masturbated to pictures of Mel Gibson growing up, even though I will admit, I have gotten some pretty good stiffies looking at pics of that Beretta M-92 he used in the Lethal Weapon movies. Since this is a totally honest BLOG, I have to tell ya'll a little secret. I often go to eat over at the House of Pies restuarant on Westheimer. My favorite waiter there is a fella named Roland. He is a great guy, and he is a good friend. Sometimes, when I must look very tired to him, he comes over and rubs my shoulders, and man it feels good. Does that make me gay, admitting it feels good when another guy rubs my shoulders ? HEY, I didn't say it gave me a hard on !! Ya'll would like it too, gay or not. Roland
should quit his day job, and become a professional, he is that good. Now to Bon Jovi's ass. I went to the Bon Jovi concert last night, along with twenty five thousand other refugees from the 80's-90's. Talk about "BIG" hair. There were so many chicks there, sporting the 80's "BIG" hair, it made me feel like a teenager again. Regretfully, I must inform ya'll, there was something else there, and it chilled me to the bone. Something that I have no fucking idea how it got started, but for the love of god, what the fuck was someone thinking when they let "the beast" lose on the the world of hair ? Yes boys and girls, you know what I am talking about. Thats right, the "MULLET". I want everyone who reads this, to pass a little messege along to ANYONE they know, still wearing this most hidious of hair styles. Get a fucking hair cut. You look really retarded, and your friends make fun of you behind your back all of the time. If you think you
look cool, you don't. You look like an idiot. Whew, I got so fired up on the "MULLET", I lost track of Bon Jovi's ass. So I am at the show, and I had really good seats. I was close enough to the band to lob one of my plastic 12oz Miller light beer bottles at them, and nail 'em pretty fucking hard too may I add, but I didn't. Seated behind me, are these two really fine looking teenage girls, and they are going absolute ape shit over John Bon Jovi. They were jumping up
and down on the red, standard issue folding chairs, one usually finds in the floor section of arenas through out the country. Their skins tight shirts, were BARELY holding in the gift of firm, large, chesticles that god gave them....wait I'm losing track again, sorry. One of the girls yells to the other girl "I don't give a fuck how old he is, I would fuck his brains out, he is so fucking hot, look at that ass". Why I looked also, I will never know, but I did. There it was in all of its glory. John Bon Jovi's ass was so close to me, I could have given him a pinch, right on one of those tight little butt cheeks he is still sporting. I found myself thinking, "wow, that guys is in his forties, and he has a great ass". This made me ponder, about my ass. What went wrong ? Girls in school used
to tell me I had a nice ass. Man, I sure have not heard that in sooooo long. I made a decision, right on the floor of the arena. I was going to work on my ass. I wanted to have a tight ass again. I wanted an ass like Bon Jovi's. As the band played on through their long set, I couldn't stop thinking about my flabby ass. When did I let my ass go ? I never made a concious decesion to do it. My flabby ass kinda snuck up on me, kinda like a ninja or a sucker punch. I never saw it coming. As I grew more depressed over my flabby ass, Bon Jovi kept waiving his in my face, taunting me, as if he knew what I was thinking. If anyone ever asks him, he'll deny it, but he knew what he was doing. I think he even winked at me one time, as he looked over his right shoulder, and then down at his ass. The show finally ended, and my I was on fire. I was gonna fix my broken ass. I was gonna get a mebership to a fitness club, get a trainer, boy was I making plans. Sadly, those plans were born, and died on the floor of that arean. As I was getting ready to leave, I looked at the very large set of steep stairs that loomed before me. After what felt like four thousand stairs later, I relized why I had lost my ass. I lost my ass because unlike John "peter fucking pan" Bon Jovi, I am getting older by the minute. Not only did I leave my mullet back in the 80's, but I left my ass there too. After walking up those stairs, I made another decision : just like my mullet, my ass would have to be relagated to the 80's, never to return. Hopefully the "MULLET" will do the same thing.

The moral of this story is this. Accept yourself for what you have become. We often look back on the past, as if it was so fucking great, and always yern to go back. I have relized something as I have grown older, the "MULLET" sucked, and I never had a great ass, at its best, it was average.
be safe,
ferg

five seconds of squirt

Why is it that everything a man does revolves around "five seconds of
squirt" ? Why is it that men go to such extremes for it ? We spend all of
our money, get into fights, sacrafice our families, and even get into
fucking wars over it ? I've pondered this question, and while I might not
know the answer, I sure as shit got an opinion about it.
You may ask yourself, "why the fuck is this idiot writing his first piece
about five seconds of squirt" , and what the fuck is he talking about ? The
answer my friend(s), is because men do some fucked up shit to achieve that
five seconds of extasy, when we bust a nut. In this world, we must decide
what is a priority, and what is just something that would be cool to do,
like fuck some hot, slutty chick.
Let me tell you a story. Think of all of the qualities you would want in a
woman, and mulitple them times a thousand. This was the only way to describe
this girl. She was totally hot, with long brown hair, steel gray eyes, a
beautiful smile, and a body to die for. And smart, man was this chick smart.
At the time, she was going to college, and gettiing great grades.
Her personality could light up the darkest night. She had a way about her,
and people were drawn to her by the droves. Men and women alike could not
help but like her. All of this, and not only was she not a slut, but about
one step away from saint hood ! The most important quality she had, however,
was she as was a loyal and devoted as she was beautiful.
So what happened you may ask ? Would anyone in there right mind loose this
woman, if this same woman loved them with all of her heart ? Only a man
would, a man looking for the Ole' dreaded "five seconds of squirt". And
only a man did.
Just like every other man, you see, this girl was great, but the "ass is
always greener" in the bedroom down the street, right ? Well, along comes
"bitcho the slut". Man was she hot, hot and slutty. Not nearly as hot as the
above described dream girl, but hot none the less. And lets be honest,
theres something really sexy about slutty girls.
Well "Bitcho" turns out to be a pretty good piece of ass, and boy is she a
"naughty little girl". Needless to say, that ass got tapped more times then
a keg at a frat party. The problem with all of that ass tappin', is that
women know when your spending you "five seconds" with someone else. "Dream
girl" knew too.
It took awhile, but she knew. So what do you think she did ? Did she say
"fuck off", "die", or just fucking leave your stupid sorry ass? Nope, not
even close. She begged like a child, for things to be OK. On fucking hands
and knees. Tear drops running down her precious face.
So heres the big moment, your in total control, your fucking this two bit
whoe, AND you got the girl of every mans dreams sobbing at the soles of your
dirty fucking feet. Ah, the control, the power, you are god right now, and
you like the feeling don't you ? You are king of the god damn world, you are
pumped ! Just llike the "five second squirt", this feeling won't last for
long neither, and boy you fucking know it.
Any rational man, with an ounce of a fucking brain, would have relized
that this is one of those "life moments". A fork in the road. Take the wrong
road, and it could affect your life FOREVER. So many thoughts are running
through your mind. Hmmm, that "five seconds of squirt", man it feels so good
with "Bitcho", and she does let me fuck her in the ass, but "Dream girl",
well she everything any man could want.
What happened you may ask, drum roll please asshole !! "Bitcho" the slut
won by a landslide !!! "Dreamgirl" went sobbing off into the darkness, only
to eventually make some lucky bastard, the happiest guy on the planet. And
what became of "Bitcho" ? Well, being the total fucking slut that she was,
she ran off and fucked half of the frat guys at her college, leaving you
like a chump. She went on to become what I like to refer to as a slutty
female Ceasar, getting stabbed over and over by the "frat boys" senate,
with their shrimpy meat daggers.
Gone was "Dream girl" forever, all for "five seconds of squirt". So whats
the moral of the story ? If you have something great in your life, hold it,
adore it, whorship it, and love it forvever. Don't let it go until time
takes it away, not your dick. Men, the reality of the deal is when we cum,
it lasts at most, five seconds. Don't let a life time with "Dream girl" slip
away for "five" seconds.

Be safe,
Ferg

My 1st entry

  Welcome to my world. I live in a world of shit. While many people in this world say they have "been there, done that", I pretty much have. One of the few things I have not done is this, share my views, thoughts, feelings etc..about life to a bunch of people I've never met.
 Well, today starts another chapter of my life, and by the grace of the great man who founded this awesome site, myspaceboobs.com, your all welcome for the ride. Not only will I share my views, but being the great public servant that I am, I would like to assist you with your problems too.
 So I want all of the many folks that visit this web sight, to take a minute or two away from their "boobs" time, and email us here at myspaceboobs.com. Ask me a question, and I'll tell you no lies. Ask me for some third person, out of the forest, away from the trees advise, and its all yours for free.
 Anything from legal issues, relationship problems, and more. I am all yours like a freeby from a whoe! Now that we have gotten all of that out of the way, lets get crackin'. Tune in tomorrow for the start of something cool, big, wild etc...Lets shake the leaves off the fuckin' trees, have lots of fun, and by the grace of god, get laid.
 Hooray for myspaceboobs.com

 Be safe,
 Mike...aka ferg